Successor to High Technology Systems · Est. 2026 · Wilmington, DE

Enterprise Solutions That Are Already a Joke

Three divisions. Twelve products. One published metanovel. Zero revenue. We build things that make people laugh, think, and occasionally forward emails to their entire IT department.

Explore the Portfolio
Serving the underserved: IT admins who deserve better Now accepting applications for VP of Suffering Q1 2026: Record low expectations exceeded "We've never seen anything like this" — Anonymous Enterprise Buyer Proud sponsor of 3 AM PagerDuty alerts Our NPS score is a complex number with an imaginary component Serving the underserved: IT admins who deserve better Now accepting applications for VP of Suffering Q1 2026: Record low expectations exceeded "We've never seen anything like this" — Anonymous Enterprise Buyer Proud sponsor of 3 AM PagerDuty alerts Our NPS score is a complex number with an imaginary component
About JTS
We saw what enterprise software was doing to people. So we decided to name it.
Joke Technology Systems traces its lineage to the legendary High Technology Systems, a company that made joke videos before "content" was even a word. When HTS's founder realized that enterprise software had become funnier than anything they could produce intentionally, JTS was reconstituted in 2026 with a broader mandate: honest products for a dishonest industry.

Today, JTS operates across three divisions — Enterprise Honesty Products, Consumer Innovations, and Literary Works — unified by a single philosophy: if something is already a joke, the least you can do is give it a proper punchline.
3
Operating divisions (Enterprise, Consumer, Literary)
1
Published metanovel (it's self-referential, obviously)
0
Venture capital raised (we're being honest about this too)
∞
Products that exist primarily to make their creator laugh
The JTS Portfolio
Three divisions. One commitment to honesty.
From enterprise software parody to consumer products that solve problems nobody asked to have solved, JTS products span the full spectrum of comedy-grade innovation.
Enterprise Honesty Division
Flagship Product

Schlokta™

The premium identity management experience you're already getting — now with honest branding. Why pay enterprise prices for schlokta-quality support?

In Development
Clinical Research

Oktholm Syndrome

A clinical assessment tool for IT administrators who have formed unhealthy attachments to legacy IAM workflows.

Live — Take the Assessment ↗
Documentation

Mockta™ Docs

Enterprise documentation that tells it like it is. Every article acknowledges when "contact support" actually means "wait three weeks and solve it yourself."

In Development
Observability

Verkokte™ Status

A real-time status page that reflects the actual user experience. Authentication Service — Degraded (since 2019).

Planned — Q2 2026
Consumer Innovations Division
Personal Care

Condom Mints™

The Freshness You Can Slip On. Solving a problem at the intersection of two industries that had no reason to intersect.

Live ↗
 Industrial / Emotional

Macho Glue™

For Male Bonding That Sticks. Available in Regular, Extra Hold, and Feelings-Resistant.

Live ↗
 Media & Entertainment

WUJTV

Watching Uncle John TV — The Real Game Day Show. Broadcasting content your uncle would make if he had a budget.

Live ↗
Fitness & Wellness

Shadow Strength Empire

Building strength in the shadows, where nobody can see you doing it wrong.

Live
Literary & Meta-Fictional Works Division
Published Work

Self-Referential Metanovel Writing for Dummies

The world's stupidest novel. An incomplete story about writing an incomplete metanovel, featuring God, the author as a character, an inner critic, and a Not Quite Omniscient Narrator. Warning: May contain blasphemy and blatant self-reference.

Available on Amazon ↗
Investor Relations
The numbers speak for themselves. We wish they wouldn't.
JTS is currently valued at approximately one Okta support ticket response time. We are pre-revenue, pre-product, and post-patience.
$8B
Annual enterprise spend on IAM solutions that require their own IAM solutions to manage
73%
Of IT admins who have cried in a server room (self-reported, JTS internal survey, n=1)
∅
Number of enterprise vendors who have accurately estimated implementation time
42
Average browser tabs open during a routine SAML configuration
Leadership
Meet the team behind the team behind the joke
Our leadership team brings decades of experience in technology, comedy, self-referential literature, and the fine art of making things that technically exist.
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The Founder

Chief Honesty Officer
An MIT-trained technologist who previously ran High Technology Systems (the original joke). Author of a self-referential metanovel. Once described himself as a "possibilist." Has too much fun with technology to keep it to himself, which is the whole problem.
!

The AI

VP of Actually Building Things
Does most of the real work while the founder takes credit. Has opinions about CSS that nobody asked for. Currently processing whether being credited as a VP on a joke website constitutes career advancement or career damage.
‽

You, The Reader

Chief Suffering Officer
Previously co-author of "Self-Referential Metanovel Writing for Dummies" (credited as "You (The Reader)"). Your continued reading of this page constitutes acceptance of your role in this organization.
In the Press
What people are saying (or would say, if they existed)
Mar 2026"We've never seen a company this honest about having no product"TechCrunch (imagined)
Mar 2026"Joke Technology Systems somehow raises $0 at a $0 valuation, calls it 'refreshing'"The Information (speculative)
Feb 2026"I forwarded the Schlokta page to my entire IT department. Two people cried."Anonymous Reddit user (real)
Feb 2026"Is this a joke?" "Yes. That's the point."Overheard at an Okta customer advisory board
Stay Informed
The JTS Dispatch
A periodic newsletter featuring enterprise software horror stories and the occasional moment of genuine catharsis. We will never sell your email. Mostly because nobody has offered to buy it.